Job Application

Once again I'm posting something nearly whole from another website, because it's too good to chop up. It is exactly the situation -- in case you don't get the point -- with The Rominee, looking for a job.

So a guy walks into my office the other day looking for high leadership position in our company. We currently have someone in that job, but his contract is up soon and we’re not sure if we’ll be renewing it, so we decided to interview this new person and see what he’s all about. The job interview went like this:

US: I see here on your resume that you’ve worked in a highly successful financial industry in the past, can you tell us a little about your time at that business?

APPLICANT: I can tell you a little, but only a little. We had some successes, but I really don’t like to talk too much about that part of my life.

US: Ok… Well… The position you are applying for involves the overseeing of extremely large amounts of money, so we typically like to see your financial records. You can also tell a great deal about a person’s integrity and responsibility levels by the way they manage their money. As this is such an important position in our company, I’m assuming you wouldn’t mind releasing your personal financial reports?

APPLICANT: If I release some of my personal financial records, you’ll just attack what’s in there. Besides, I don’t think your company really even cares about personal financial records.

US: Ummmm… ok… Let’s try something else. If you were to be hired for this position, can you tell us what you would do to improve productivity in the company?

APPLICANT: I would make everything better. I would cut costs while raising profits and make everything just right.

US: That sounds good, but how would you do that? What costs would you cut? And can you provide any specifics about policies or practices that you would implement to raise profits?

APPLICANT: I don’t think I really need to tell you that right now. I’ll tell you how I would change things, but not until after I’m hired.

US: Soooo, let me make sure I have this correct. You don’t want to go into detail about your business experience, you won’t show us your financial background, AND you won’t even tell us anything specific about how you would do the job?

APPLICANT: You’ll just have to trust me.

In a world of sanity, the guy would be tossed out on his ear, right? "We Built That" CEOs wouldn't give him the time of day, would they? Just asking.

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